A thank you note

I was not prepared for this—at least as of early last year.

I used to tell my friends that I don’t want to pursue a relationship yet. At 25, I wanted to focus on myself first and my goals and responsibilities in life. Entering a serious romantic relationship was something I dreamed to happen, but maybe a few years from now.

In fact, I have never prayed to God before to prepare me for my next season. Until the last quarter of 2022 came, and I encountered a familiar passage in the Song of Solomon. Its Chapter 8, Verse 4 in the New Living Translation (NLT) reads:

“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.”

It was a verse I encountered countless times as a student. In the New International Version, which we normally use in church services, the verse tells the reader to “not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” But reading it in the NLT version the last time gave me a different revelation. The words “the time is right” echoed to me. The time is right, so I can already awaken love. The time is right, so I can now love. The time is right, so I can now receive love. As I meditate that verse, your image appeared on my mind, as if the Lord was telling me that you were the context for what he was saying. It was as if he was telling me to get ready.

Godsent

At last, you are here.
But before this moment came to be,
I have long been searching for clues
on how He would write our story.

There were times when
I mistook you for other men
whom I thought were the one He had sent,
but who all left at the count of ten.

Then I saw you standing there,
and though you were as still as the river,
your presence sent inexplicable peace,
and my heart started to waver.

Until our paths eventually crossed,
like two galaxies gravity had joined together,
because He finally told you:
“Son, it’s time to meet her.”

Have I not said it?
The moment you first held my hands,
and locked your eyes to mine,
I knew you were the one.

The one He has reserved for me,
the one I have been waiting for,
the one He had sent along my way,
the one meant to come and stay.

And then I realized—
I didn’t really need to look for signs,
because all this time,
He’s been working for our paths to intertwine.

So I stand here before you,
opening my heart and letting you in,
telling what He said about you when He whispered to my ears:
“Yes, my child. It is him.”

A gentle wave

I used to be afraid of waves. In my mind, there’s this thought that they could get wild, and I could be lost in the current before I know it. But the last time I got the chance to swim in the sea, just near the shore, the waves were so gentle, seemingly inviting me to go further in the waters. Resisting the urge no more, I tried to face it, one after another, and let it gently move my body, as if leading me to a brief dance. I found myself laughing like a child.

At that moment, I suddenly thought about you. Then I realized, you were not a strong wave rushing its way to me. You were a gentle wave, and the strength of your coming moved me just enough—not so fierce, not so weak. Just enough. Just the way I like it.

Slowly, but surely, I will face you with childlike awe, and let you drift me away with your soft current.

Awaiting the gift

Before Christmas, one of my friends told me that she has a gift for me. I got excited. First, because she was a new friend I made just last year, and second, because I was delighted to know that she thought of giving something for me for the holidays.

However, that friend also told me that her gift is not yet ready. She’ll give it “next week,” she said.

I realized that sometimes, we have the same attitude toward the things we want to have. We say, “I want it now,” and we sometimes even grumble to God and complain why he has not answered our prayers yet.

They say we don’t receive those answered prayers because we are not yet ready. But what if it’s the same for both sides? What if the gift is also not yet ready?

I’ve always believed that there is no such thing as too late or too early. In God’s clock, everything happens just when it is supposed to happen. But as human as we are, we almost always want to rush things. Patience really is a virtue that we should work on.

What if as God prepares you to receive the gift, He is also still preparing that gift so that when it is ready, you will receive it in full measure?

Since getting that gift is not within your control anyway, let it go for now, and let God prepare it first. When the time is right, he will gladly give it to you—whole, complete, and at its best version. It’s for you after all, so there’s no doubt that you will eventually get it. A little more time waiting won’t hurt. At the right season, the gift will be ready for you, and you will be ready to receive it too.

“Okay, I’ll look forward to it,” I told my friend with excitement.

Remain

I was in a coffee date yesterday with some of my church friends when one of them—the youngest—asked me this question: “What is the best lesson you learned in 2022?”

It was a cliché kind of question, but one that is worth reflecting upon. The answer came immediately to my mind:

I said, “I learned the value of remaining.”

Twenty-five: A new grip

I was sick on my birthday. And yes, of all the days of the year, it had to be on my birthday.

“Why?” I probably asked this about ten times to myself and a few friends who knew my birthday was coming. I am usually not a fan of grand stuff. I really just wanted to go home to stay with my parents and eat my mom’s spaghetti on that day. But nah, fever ruined my simple “plan.” I didn’t go home for fear that I might have COVID and end up infecting my parents. Anyway, my sick body also didn’t have strength to travel for four to five hours via bus.

Instead, I ended up cooped up in our unit in the city. But even if my plan didn’t work out, I was thankful to have been able to do one of my non-negotiables, especially for that day. I did my devotion (Bible reading + journal), asked God to give me a Word he wants to tell me on that day, and came across Hebrews 12:12-13 in the New Living Translation. It reads:

“So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.”

Living and leaving the dream

I was 20 years old when I became a reporter. It has always been my dream since I entered college. I even used to say I cannot imagine myself thriving in another field except journalism.

I can still remember the first time I walked inside Camp Crame, the headquarters of the Philippine National Police, in Quezon City. Crime and the police were my first beat. It was a sunny day in August 2018, and the police guards greeted me at the gate as I presented my media ID. As I entered the press office, I saw for the first time some reporters I had only seen on television. I felt honored and excited to know that I will work with them in my first assignment.

This is just one of my most memorable experiences as a journalist. I couldn’t enumerate everything, but one thing is for sure; nothing (or no one. lol) has made my heart race like journalism. Nothing has made me more thrilled than breaking news stories and creating feature content, knowing that through my outputs, I can inform and inspire my readers.

Yet here I am, saying goodbye to something I have loved for many years—and still love at this very moment.

Wearing Mitch Albom’s shoes in ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’

Mitch Albom was the first author I encountered as a teenager. I was 16 at the time, a fragile first-year college student almost clueless about the complexities of life. His book titled “The Time Keeper” was recommended to me by a close friend, and later contributed much to my thought process. The same goes for his other books that I have read in the years that followed. The words “It is never too late or too soon; it is when it is supposed to be” in that first read has caused a huge impact on how I see time as I grew older. (Read here some of the best quotes in “The Time Keeper.”)

Six years later, now that I am 22, Mitch again amazed me with another book which I always knew have been a best-seller since years back but which I have only read recently. Before grabbing a copy of “Tuesdays with Morrie”in a bookstore, I initially thought I should have read it when I was younger. I have always been curious about the content of that book, and at the back of my mind, I knew I was going to read it one day.

That day came this year. But I was mistaken. Upon reading it, I realized the book found me just at the right time.

The book is about Morrie Schwartz, a then 78-year-old sociology professor who was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), and how he taught deep lessons about life to Mitch, his former student who later became his friend. Being slowly overtaken by the disease, Morrie gets visited by Mitch on Tuesdays. They talked about several topics that range from the world in general, feeling sorry for yourself, regrets, death, family, emotions, fear of aging, money, love, marriage, culture, and forgiveness.

Transcript: Interview with indie folk band Munimuni

Last January, I had a privilege to interview indie folk band Munimuni after attending one of their gigs. The band, which popularized the “makata pop” genre, is composed of Millennials Adj Jiao (vocalist, guitarist), TJ de Ocampo (vocalist, guitarist), John Owen Castro (vocalist, flutist), Jolo Ferrer (bass guitarist), and Josiah Tumaliuan (drummer). The article I wrote focused on the stories behind some of their songs that speak about hope. In this blog, I’ll share to you the transcript of our interview, particularly our conversation about the inspiration behind these songs.

Read my feature story published on Inquirer.net here. 

Tahanan
Composer: Owen

(I told Owen that the first line, “Hanggang dito na lamang ang ‘yong mga luha,” seems ironic because it somehow makes me want to cry.”)

Owen: Which is nice, kasi diba ‘yun din ‘yung goal niya, para mawala lahat ng luha. So kung meron pa sa loob, kailangan mo siya ilabas, so okay lang ‘yun, na kapag narinig mo ‘yung line na ‘yun iiyak ka kasi ibig sabihin malapit nang mawala.

‘Yung inspiration niya ay nanggaling sa personal experience ko bilang isang taong may bipolar disorder II, and nasulat ‘yung kantang ‘yun before pa ako madiagnose. So parang may phase sa buhay ko na sobrang lungkot ko, tapos may isang araw na sobrang saya ko so sabi ko sulat tayo ng kanta, so sulat ako ng kanta. ‘Yun basically, ganun siya nabuo.

Marilag
Composers: Adj and TJ

Adj: Ito ‘yung isa sa mga songs na ang bilis lang niya naisulat kasi parang in the moment siya, so puyat—nagpuyat—(looks at TJ) sinadya ba nating mapuyat? Basta galing kami sa isang event na late natapos which is UP fair and isang sleep over siya na walang sleep, over lang. Haha.

Nag-overnight kami sa bahay nina TJ, with a group of friends and tulog na silang lahat, inabot kami ng umaga, so nakita namin ‘yung sunrise, and ‘yun ‘yung naging starting point, [tapos naisip namin] tara sulat tayo ng kanta, and in the span of mga 30 minutes siguro, from wala pa masyadong kulay ‘yung horizon until sa naka-akyat na ‘yung araw, dun namin nasulat ‘yung kanta so methaphor ‘yung sunrise for us ng hope.

Simula
Composer: TJ

Nasulat ko siya nung time na, may time kasi sa family ko na hindi masyado okay ‘yung mga tao, so that was around 18 years old pa yata ako nun or 17. I don’t remember, pero ‘yung time na ‘yun, ‘yun lang ‘yung nararamdaman ko that time, na these problems that we face as a household, as a family, one day pagtatawanan lang natin siya or kakalimutan. Kasi ganun diba, parang uy naaalala mo ‘yung ano, tapos nagalit ka nun diba? Hahaha. ‘Yun ‘yung inspiration niya na ‘yung ganung klaseng attitude na naghohope ka na one day matatapos din ‘yung lahat, or kahit di matapos but there will be better days. And I guess na-apply ‘yun ng mga tao sa lives nila, ‘yung mga nakikinig sa amin, kahit na sa anong aspect ng life nila, kahit sa lovelife, or with their friends or relationships nila with other people.

Kulayan Natin
Composer: Adj

Adj: Nagstart siya as a mental image ng basically love. May naimagine akong movie sa utak ko na cute siya kasi black and white tapos naglalakad kayo tapos nagkakakulay ‘yung nilalakaran niyo. Parang ‘yun ‘yung imagination ko. Ang corni diba? Medyo cheesy siya. But then naisip ko na parang may mas maganda na scene, na ‘yung magkasamang naglalakad sa parang movie scene na ‘yun, kinukulayan nila ‘yung mundo, so mas active siya na kind of love, in a way na nag-o-overflow, nag-uumapaw ‘yung pagmamahal niyo sa lipunan na ginagalawan niyo.

Banaag
Composer: TJ

TJ: Ang banaag kasi nakita ko siya sa isang Filipino dictionary. Nasa apartment ako niya (looks at Adj), tapos may dictionary doon na makapal, nakasulat Filipino dictionary, tapos bina-browse ko lang siya tapos nainterest ako dun sa word na banaag kasi ang ibig sabihin niya ay parang malayong ilaw na nagfiflicker lang. Nainterest ako sa word na ‘yun tapos naisip ko na parang isa na naman ‘tong picture ng kung ano ang hope sa life, parang naimagine ko na siguro para akong pilgrim tapos ‘yung land na pinaglalakaran ko sobrang dilim pero may isang maliit na ilaw doon na ‘yun lang ‘yung pinupuntahan ko. Dun nagstart ‘yung image na ‘yun, ‘yung song na ‘yun. And then may sinasabi doon sa song na ‘yun na bawat kulay ng buhay mo ay sinag ko lamang na hinimay-himay, so parang sinasabi doon na kung anumang naeexperience mo ngayon, kung anong kulay man ng mundo mo ngayon, wala namang kulay kung walang ilaw diba, hindi mo makikita ‘yung kulay kung walang ilaw, so the very reason na nakikita mo ‘yung kulay na ‘yun, naeexperince mo ‘yun is because may ilaw na buhay na you can expect sa life mo.

Please keep an eye on your valuables

I was in college when someone gave me a different interpretation to this common reminder in fast-food restaurants. Wherever we go, don’t we normally keep an eye on our valuables simply because we don’t want it lost?

It’s the same with God. He sees us valuable to him that he always keeps an eye on us. He knows every laughter, every drop of tear we shed. And in case we get lost, he will do everything to find us again. It’s exactly the meaning of the parable of the lost sheep, when the shepherd left the 99 that did not wander to find the one that had gone astray. Even if that one sheep wandered off, that wayward sheep still mattered to Him.

Listen to this: No matter what you did or what you heard, you are valuable in His sight.

But there’s one more thing I learned this year. If God sees you as someone valuable, then you should see yourself that way too. The Bible declares we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). Therefore, as God keeps an eye on you, take care of yourself too. Do not ever let anyone take away your happiness. Do not ever let anyone make you question your worth. You are worth it. You are loved. You are beautiful in your entirety. You are highly-valued in His eyes. Anybody else’s different opinion doesn’t really matter.