I was sick on my birthday. And yes, of all the days of the year, it had to be on my birthday.
“Why?” I probably asked this about ten times to myself and a few friends who knew my birthday was coming. I am usually not a fan of grand stuff. I really just wanted to go home to stay with my parents and eat my mom’s spaghetti on that day. But nah, fever ruined my simple “plan.” I didn’t go home for fear that I might have COVID and end up infecting my parents. Anyway, my sick body also didn’t have strength to travel for four to five hours via bus.
Instead, I ended up cooped up in our unit in the city. But even if my plan didn’t work out, I was thankful to have been able to do one of my non-negotiables, especially for that day. I did my devotion (Bible reading + journal), asked God to give me a Word he wants to tell me on that day, and came across Hebrews 12:12-13 in the New Living Translation. It reads:
“So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.”
The words “new grip” struck me. I imagined a common scene in movies where the protagonist tries to hold on a piece of wood in a cliff so he will not fall. When his hands seem to lose their grip due to exhaustion, he gathers all his strength to take a “new” and stronger grip on that wood. It’s like making a courageous and necessary move to start over, to recharge, to survive, to live.
I looked at my hands and feet and felt how physically weak I was on that day. I tried clenching my fists and realized that doing so required much more strength and determination than when I am healthy.
Maybe, that’s what He wants to tell me as I turn 25: to take a new grip nevertheless.
Maybe, I was sick that day for a reason.
Memoirs 